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Nevermind tequila. A brazilian friend gave me a bottle of Pedra 90, Aguadente de cana... she promises it isn't tequila but it is pretty similar. Anyway, a bag of limes, a bag of caster sugar, a tub of ice a bloody great jug and something that looks like a wooden masher will turn out a summertime drink that will turn you into the world's happiest alcoholic. Much better than slammers and worms, which always end in tears.

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Umm.. Steve.. why would cam put the apple on his tongue?? It's uh.. yucks... Oh oh.. vodka.. so many possiblities... buy a watermelon, drill a hole in it, get some of it out and then pour vodka.. put in freeze and voila! alcoholic fruit. Delicious AND healthy for ya :P

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But but but... it's the answer to everything!!! Husband: 'oh it was such a tough day at work' Wife: 'That's alright darlink.. here's a nip of gin' H:'Oh the baby is screaming again darls.' W: 'I know darrrrlink, that's why I'm on my 2nd bottle of tequila' W: 'Honey, I had a car accident today. And here is a lovely bourbon and coke' H: 'That is rather thoughtful of you my dear. Bourbon and coke'

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You'd have to rig up some sort of device to drip feed you while you were asleep... I've heard of people who do that. Imagine being that ingenious when you're plastered. That's much more dedicated than watching The Wall and talking about crap that happened when you were a teenager. Anyway, have you seen someone bleed out? Alcoholics can just suddenly spontaneously start bleeding from under their fingernails and their eyes, ears, nose, lips... and if a few immediate blood transfusions don't work, doctors just have to stand by and watch them bleed out. Imagine saying goodbye to your family while that's happening. It's worse than a Monty Python Liver Donor sketch...

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